These are the 7 books I’d gift to new moms
Resources that made me feel whole again | 5 min read Published in Motherly on February 24, 2024.
Motherhood is hard.
These seven books got me through pregnancy, postpartum, relationship struggles, and unexpected mental health challenges.
And if you don’t have time to read (you’re not alone!), this list is still for you. I’ve included quick alternatives to get the top insights and takeaways.
7 Books I Recommend to All New Moms
Book #1: Expecting Better by Emily Oster
Who it’s for
Pregnant moms anxious and overwhelmed by advice.
Why I recommend it
Emily Oster, a health economist, challenges pregnancy don’ts with evidence. Don’t drink alcohol or coffee. Don’t eat cold cuts or unpasteurized cheeses. Don’t do a sit up. The list goes on.
But these recommendations often come from limited studies or small trials. She empowers moms with data to weigh risks and make decisions that actually fit their lives.
How it supports mental health
Pregnancy is a uniquely vulnerable period and the flood of advice can quickly turn into a spiral of guilt, self-blame, and anxiety. Turning vague rules into clear data eased my anxiety and helped me trust my choices on food, exercises, and birth planning.
If you don’t have time to read the book
Subscribe to her ParentData newsletter, listen to her Good Inside interview (49 minutes) or get the Audiobook.
Book #2 Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy
Who It’s For
Moms wanting to lead with sturdiness and empathy.
Why I recommend it
Dr. Becky, a psychologist and mom of three, reframed parenting for me. Her practical tips helped me connect with my kids and support their emotion-regulation skills—without relying on rewards or punishments.
How it supports mental health
Moms try to ‘do it all’, but what’s really happening is they’re quickly losing parts of themselves—leading to guilt, resentment, and anxiety.
She reminds parents that children need sturdy leaders, and sturdiness comes from self-care. This book offers tools for self-compassion and getting good at repair—validating feelings, managing (and tolerating!) guilt, and modeling resilience.
If you don’t have time to read the book
Watch Dr. Becky’s Tedx Talk (14 minutes), subscribe to the Good Inside podcast, or start with episode #81 (38 minutes) with Myleik Teele, ‘What No One Tells You About Parenting.’
Book #3: Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts - by Karen Kleinman
Who It’s For
Moms with intrusive or scary thoughts about their babies or themselves.
Why I recommend it
Over 90% of moms have them. What if I drop him? What if I snap and hurt my baby? Mothering is so hard. I don’t know if I really want to do this anymore. But too many stay silent.
Karen Kleinman, founder of the Postpartum Stress Center, normalizes these experiences with cartoons, guidance, and quick exercises that validate what moms are feeling, help them talk about it, and adjust to early motherhood.
How it supports mental health
The demands of early motherhood can catch moms off guard. When I became a mom, breastfeeding, sleep deprivation, relationship conflicts, and excessive worry about germs hit me hardest.
This book helped make sense for so much of what I was feeling. The examples inspired me to advocate for myself, ask for help and initiate hard, but much needed conversations with my partner.
If you don’t have time to read the book
You can skim the chapters as you go—this book is designed to dip in and out when you need it.
Book #4: How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis
Who It’s For
Moms drowning in chores, mess, and the never-ending list of things to do.
Why I recommend it
KC Davis is a therapist and mom of two. Her book completely shifted my mindset by reframing housework as morally neutral. Struggling with these care tasks (laundry, dishes, cooking) didn’t make me a bad person. It made me re-evaluate and relax a LOT of my standards.
Care tasks are about functionality. In other words, your home works for you, not the other way around. This book provides practical tips on building a cleaning strategy that serves you.
How it supports mental health
A recovering perfectionist, I thrive when things are clean and organized. It didn’t take long for a baby to undo all of my hard work. Keeping pace with the mess was unsustainable.
This book gave me permission to let go of guilt and focus on functionality over perfection. I learned to see ‘good enough’ as success. I no longer need to fold my laundry right away, or (gasp) at all. Messy living rooms now mean fun, not failure.
If you don’t have time to read the book
Watch KC Davis’ Tedx Talk (13 minutes), listen to her Good Inside interview (34 minutes), or get the Audiobook.
Book #5: Fair Play by Eve Rodsky
Who It’s For
Moms resenting their partner over household chores.
Why I recommend it
Two out of three couples report a drop in marital satisfaction after a baby. Eve Rodsky, an organizational management expert, names the ‘invisible work’ moms carry as the primary caregiver. She offers a system to share it and achieve a more equitable partnership—complete with tools, language, and even a card deck.
How it supports mental health
Chores became a major pain point for me and my husband after baby: I resented him for not doing enough, we were having more frequent fights, and I didn’t like how controlling I was becoming either. This book gave me the language and confidence to partner with my husband. We ran through all tasks for running our household, time required to complete each (end-to-end), and clarified roles.
It’s a work in progress, but this turned our conflict into collaboration. It deepened our respect for each other’s needs and values.
And by letting go of control, I reclaimed time for myself to do the things I enjoy.
If you don’t have time to read the book
Watch the Fair Play documentary (1 hour 35 minutes) or read Jane Kim’s Motherly review. Listen to her Good Inside’s interview (31 minutes) or get the Audiobook. For more personalized support, you can work with a certified Fair Play facilitator.
Book #6: Real Self-Care by Pooja Lakshmin
Who It’s For
Moms looking for sustainable self-care.
Why I recommend it
Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, a psychiatrist, defines real self-care as an internal process, not another product to buy. Moms are told to book a massage or take a bubble bath. But that’s a quick fix, and it often comes with a strong serving of self-imposed guilt for being away from baby. In our culture that equates motherhood with martyrdom, women still get judged for making time for themselves.
The book is grounded on four principles: 1) Set boundaries (make space for yourself and learn to tolerate guilt), 2) Develop self-compassion (talk kindly to yourself), 3) Get clear on your values (focus on what matters most to you), and 4) Use your power (take power back from oppressive systems that are not serving you).
How it supports mental health
Burnout can lead to anxiety, depression, and other mood disorders. That’s why establishing a real self-care practice is crucial for new moms. This book isn’t a one-size-fits all. It provides tools and questions for deep internal reflection so you can design a practice that actually sticks and aligns with your core values.
If you don’t have time to read the book
Read NPR’s Real Self-Care article, listen to her Raising Good Humans interview (41 minutes), or get the Audiobook.
Book #7: Pay Up by Reshma Saujani
Who it’s for
Moms, especially working moms, feeling burnt out.
Why I recommend it
This is the best book I read when I became a new mom. Reshma Saujani, founder of Girls Who Code and Moms First, shows how U.S. systems fail moms at home and work. She blends history, data, and her own, pandemic parenting story to show us how we got here. She takes it a step further and outlines bold strategies to drive real change.
How it supports mental health
She calls out the source of our guilt and exhaustion: the impossible standards of the ‘perfect mom’ and ‘ideal worker'. Reading this book was therapeutic. It validated everything I was feeling and reminded me of the value of what I was contributing at home in my new role as caregiver. She shows what employers can do to help—from subsidizing child care and flexible work days.
If you don’t have time to read the book
Sign up for the Moms First movement, listen to her Good Inside interview (44 minutes), or download the Audiobook.
Final Word
These books were game-changers.
The authors became my ‘support team’. They offered wisdom, validation, and strategies that carried me through night time feeds and postpartum anxiety. They helped me build strength, resilience, and the skills to become the mother I wanted to be.
Most of all, they reminded me: the greatest gift I can give my baby is a whole, healthy me.
Want more? See my full list of book recs + gift ideas that go beyond the baby registry.
Learn more about how these books pushed me to fight for better for the next mom (and how you can too).
Plan ahead: Learn the signs of mood disorders—so you’re ready BEFORE they happen.
