For new moms

It’s easy to get overwhelmed once you’ve had your baby. The transition to motherhood isn’t just about keeping your baby healthy. It’s also about navigating changes to your relationship with your partner and your identity.

Lessons.

Here’s a bit more about what I learned in my first year of motherhood.

It’s not just about raising a baby.

Bbeing a good mom is not just about raising a baby, but being intentional about the mom (and partner) I want to be. 

Learning how to be a better partner.

This meant being a better co-parent, focusing on what matters, and letting go of control.

Letting go of perfectionism.

There’s no such thing as a perfect parent. Being a good mother does not mean being a perfect mother.

Recalibrating my priorities.

Caregiving is a full-time job. It forced me to recalibrate my priorities and where my value and self-worth come from (including how my job fits into my life and identity).

Letting go of being able to plan.

For someone who loves to plan, I learned quickly that motherhood is not that. Flexibility is key.

Asking for help.

Learning that it’s not only okay, but essential to ask for help.

You are not alone.

Learning that it helps to talk about the struggles and not pretend everything is great. Joining a peer support group with other new moms made me realize I wasn’t alone. 

Motherhood is hard.

Both you and baby are so new to this relationship. You are not supposed to know everything right away.

It’s not our fault it’s this hard.

Our systems—healthcare, employers, and governments—have failed to fully support new moms and co-parents.

Sleep.

Resources

Information, resources, and products I used in areas where I grew and learned the most in the first year — developing skills to raise my baby (sleep, breastfeeding, solids) and navigating other transitions like parenting with my partner and my postpartum adjustment.

    1. One well rested parent is better than two parents without sleep. My husband and I are both better people when we’re well rested. There was no point in both of us being sleep deprived. When my husband went back to work, he slept in a separate room and I covered night shifts.

    2. Introduce a bottle early. When our daughter was 4 weeks old and her feeding routine stabilized, I pumped extra milk for bottles. My husband gave her the first bottle of the day so I could sleep in. This also helped baby get used to bottles which eased the transition to daycare.

    3. Develop a sleep routine (and stick with it). Every baby is different but we found that the following worked best for our baby: 1) darkening the room, 2) playing 2 lullaby songs, 3) reading a book and 4), putting on a sleep sack.

    4. Learn about the universal baby cues: While every baby is different, most babies have their cues to indicate if they’re tired, hungry, or disengaged. Understanding these cues were a game changer and made things a bit more predictable for me and the baby.

  • If you have the resources, you can consider hiring a night nurse, doula, or sleep specialists.

    We did not, but had great success with the Snoo, a smart bassinet that soothed our baby back to sleep after middle-of-the night feeds.

    We leaned on Snoo sleep experts and our pediatrician’s nurse line for any/all questions related to sleep.

  • BOOK: Suzy Giordano, 12 hours of sleep by 12 weeks

    ARTICLE: Happiest Baby, The 5 S’s for soothing baby

    ARTICLE: Babywise, 5-6am ‘night’ wakings

  • The Oprah Show (9 min), One woman unlocks the secret language of babies

    Transition to Parenthood (21 min), Name that cue: Understanding what your newborn is saying

  • Note: The following products are not sponsored and are all items I found useful based on my own experience.

    Bassinet: Snoo

    Carriers: Moby (younger infants) and Ergobaby (older infants and toddlers)

    For soothing: Exercise ball, pacifiers (Philips, MAM), white noise (Hatch)

    For naps: Lounger (Dok a Tot)

    Clothing: Swaddles (Halo, SwaddleMe), sleep sack (Woolino), PJs (Magnetic Me modal footie, Carters 2-way zip onesie)

Breastfeeding.

    1. Give yourself time to learn this new skill: Breastfeeding and pumping are brand new skills for both you and the baby (the latch, a new pumping device, and more) and may not come easily. Give yourself space to learn it. Looking back, we were grateful we didn’t have visitors at the hospital so I could fully focus on developing this skill with the help of lactation specialists.

    2. Be efficient with nursing and pumping: Breastfeeding and pumping are time consuming. But take advantage of this time to do things you enjoy (bonding with baby, watching TV). Use a haakaa to catch excess milk. Find opportunities to cut down time needed for milk storage and cleaning of supplies.

    3. Get your partner involved: I pumped extra milk for at least 1 bottle a day. This allowed my husband to participate in feeding and my baby to get used to the bottle. It also allowed me to catch up on sleep!

    4. Use insurance to cover the cost of your breast pump: New breast pumps can cost $100-$300. Call your insurance company to learn more about this benefit.

    5. Read the user manual for your breast pump: I learned this the hard way. As the baby grows, you will need to increase the vacuum strength on your pump. Re-reading the manual would have saved me hours of pumping.

    6. Pack a manual breast pump while traveling: On separate trips, I had issues with the back flow protector. These accessories are not easy to find on the road, so bring a manual pump or extra accessories.

    7. Remember that breastfeeding is a privilege: Breastfeeding is not for everyone and it was undoubtedly the toughest part of my postpartum experience. But, it is truly amazing to have the ability to produce milk that keeps your tiny human alive.

  • I had incredible support from lactation specialists at our birthing center and through our pediatrician. Doulas are also an option for providing postpartum support.

  • ARTICLE: Pumping Mamas, Spectra pump settings: Pro tips for the most milk

    ARTICLE: MomLovesBest, How to pump more breastmilk

    ARTICLE: Babylist: Best breast pumps of 2023

    VIDEO (17 min): Bridget Taylor, 7 Tips for increasing milk supply

    VIDEO (3 min): Breastfeeding Success, Laid back breastfeeding

    VIDEO (4 min): Texas Department of State Health Services, Breastfeeding positions

    VIDEO (4 min): 4MDMedical, Troubleshooting Spectra S1 & S2 pump

  • TRACKER (app): BabyConnect - I used this app to log all nursing and pumping sessions. This allowed me to track progress over time and identify opportunities to be more efficient.

    WEBSITE: Kellymom.com - created by a board certified lactation consultant that provides evidence-based information on breastfeeding.

    EDUCATION (Minnesota-based, paid): Amma Parenting

  • Note: The following products are not sponsored and are all items I found useful based on my own experience.

    Breast Pump

    • Electric (Spectra S1) - the main difference between S1 and S2 is that the S1 has a rechargeable battery, allowing you to pump anywhere. In hindsight, I would have invested more in a wearable pump for the extra convenience.

    • Manual (Haakaa) - used to catch the natural letdown while breastfeeding which allows you to build excess milk supply for bottles. The mini size is great for traveling.

    Supplies & Storage

    • Storage bags (Medela) - I prefer these over Lansinoh because they stand up better when pouring milk into the bag.

    • Sterilization bags (Medela) - I’d sterilize bottles, pacifiers, and pump supplies in these bags. They are easy to use and can be used 20 times before being replaced.

    • Cooler bag (J.L. Childress) and ice pack (Ace small) - supplies I used to pack bottles for day care and travel.

    • Burp cloths (Green Sprouts) - our baby spit up often so we bought many sets to have around the house.

    Bottles

    • Bottle box (Babylist) - not sure what bottle to use? Sample a few before committing to one.

    • Bottles (Como Tomo) - these worked best for my baby and come in 2 sizes for younger and older infants.

    For mama

    • Water bottle (Owala) - this bottle is clear and easy to track how much water you’re drinking. The wide-mouth spout allows you to drink a large volume of water.

    • Pumping bra (Simple Wishes)

    • Nursing bra - I liked the Bandeau top because it was easy to slip on/off without having to fuss around with nursing bra clips. For more support, I used Bravado bras.

    • Cover ups (Muslin Swaddle) - I tried a lot of specialty cover ups and found that tying the corners of a muslin blanket (around my neck and waist) to work best.

    • Nipple cream (Earth Mama)

    • Nursing pads (Lansinoh)

  • Oatmeal

    Lactation cookies

    Mothers milk

Solids.

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Parenting.

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Postpartum adjustment.

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Relationships.

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